It saddens me to see so much hate, anger and turmoil on tv yet to view it on a community based website for parents. What have we come to? A bunch of bedraggled and angry mobsters hell bent on having the last word? I appreciate that words can hurt us deep, they cut like a knife and damage our feelings towards others, they make us full of negative energy in a world already full of upheaval. I can feel the tension and see the passion of those that use hurtful words, I feel the pain and srtuggle on the ones that feel crucified by the words of others. I am merely a person with a view to change the way people see each other, I try and balance bad karma as when people start on the road to 'how dare they say that', you discuss it with your spouse as it bugs you and riles you up inside, you lay away at night boiling with what you will write to make sure the other person knows your vieews and hurt you are by their words. We are all human and need to feel heard, we have views on everything and anything, we express how we feel on a daily basis by how we act, what we wear and how we interact with others. People like our children see all this, they pick up on how angry and upset you are, they pick up the vibes that someone out there has done you wrong. But no-one in this blog have i mentioned any names as there are none to mention, no where have I victimised anyone or intentionally hurt anyone. But I bet someone will feel the need to tell me their point of view about what it felt like when someone one here said something that really hurt them.....and you know what I don't mind at all. i don't mind listening to people say they are hurt, upset and feel sad but what I do feel saddened by is when it isn't just them informing us of HOW they feel but WHY and then stab the OFFENDEE in the back and CHOOSE to be nasty back. I have learnt a way to inform someone of how I feel without the other person being given a negative word back. There are a number of techniques that can help a person express their feelings of negativety without hrting the person that upset them. I learnt this through counselling and through reading heaps of specialised books, my son has several disabilities and he has very low self esteem due to his situation of how he views the world and how he feels within. He daily lashes out verbally and physically to the point where things have been smashed and wounds have occured-I have scars that show how he views the world and that includes me... But I do not tell him I hate him when he tells me he wants to knife me in the stomach and see all my insides spill onto the floor. I do not tell him I despise him when he says I am a terrible mother and he hates to me hell. At those moments in time he is angry, he is upset, he is voiceing his concerns to the world and saying 'I am scared and feel angry/upset and confused'. Of course I get upset and I often cry alone when he isn't around as the daily onslaught fills me with anguish of what the future holds for him. But I do not verbally bash him for his opinion for it is that-his opinion at that very precise moment. I do wonder at times if he really means what he says, to be told he hates me every day is a constant strain on me as a parent who has struggled mostly alone to deal with his effects on my daily life but I carry on each and every day and inform him that what he said to me hurt my feelings, the words were unkind and although they are his opinion and he is entitled to that, I still felt hurt by his words. i do not tell him I hate him or wish he wasn't here-this is pointless and uncalled for. Bear in mind this when wanting to tell someone what they said hurt and you may have listened to what they said it does not give them the allowance to say it and beleive that you would not be upset. For those that feel the need to write the 'truth' as you see fit-bear in mind your opinion will hurt someone and your action will cause a reaction-be aware on the verbal onslaught that may occure from what you have said. One more thing and this may seem to be very very bizarre...think before you say anything and think about whether you actually truelly believe in what you are about to say. Then if you truelly do-never and I mean never apologize for saying those words! People use sorry too easily, like it is a get out clause for them having an opinion that hurt someone! If you are really sorry then say so but in your heart of hearts and logically, if you wrote the whole hearted truth then never say sorry or else everything you just wrote was pointless and insignificant. Do not say sorry because you feel pressured into doing so, do not allow your feelings and thought to be changed due to someone saying they are hurt. You say 'I appreciate the way this has made you feel but I feel that my opinion means a lot to me and this is how I feel right now'. Access that others will feel hurt and that you empathise with their feelings but that does not mean that you now have to say that all you said was wrong so don't. People say sorry too often and then they do it again and we sit and say-hold on you said sorry when you did that last and now you are doing it again...they are doing it again because they are not sorry and never were, they just felt compelled to make you feel less hurt so they gave in and retracted how they thought to make you feel better and this in my eyes makes life very untruthful and confusing. We as a human race should be able to express how we feel and empathise if it upsets someone but not have to give in to others people's views just to keep the peace. No-one can walk all over you unless you let them so stand up and be strong, if you get walked all over in life it is because you are at that moment unable to stand tall-for whatever reason. We are not all strong 100% of the time, we flake out, feel the strain, be abused verbally and emotionally to the point where we can't stand up and say hey I don't agree with that. Be strong in body and mind and speak when you feel the truth really matters to you, if not you will never be heard and no-one will think you care about important issues. Gosh I can rant and rave too long but just like you I feel passionate about making this world a better place for my children to be in. Hugs and hope. www.AnimalAgentz.com http://darkangel6976.stumbleupon.com