Shock and Honesty.

So it's been a while since my last post. There has been so much that has gone on that I can't believe it's only in one life! They say with time things get better while others say as children get older it gets worse. I say time is all I have but does there come a point in time when you have to stop and think....is it time to say stop. I look at my son and I can hardly recognise him. He physically looks pretty much the same but it's like he is possessed with this nasty streak and I keep saying-people aren't born bad are they? Each year I say to someone 'he won't ever do this' or 'he would never do that'....now I ask what else is he capable of doing? I have lost the feelings I once shared for my son-I look at him with astonishment as his headteacher informs me that he stole someones drink money for their dinner. The headteacher is very good and she knew that we don't give our son money as he has no need of it for school.School are trying so hard to understand him and help him. STEALING...stealing is something I once said he would never do...but then I also said he would never hit anyone else but me and in the last 18 months he has attacked me, his old headteacher, my husband and the same girl twice at his new school as well as the threats to his sister. The things he does are getting to a higher scale each time as he pushes the boundaries of rules each month and I learn more of the fact that I don't like what he has become. I feel lost to how this all happened and why he feels the need to bang against the system like a raging bull. He feels the necessity to ignore all the people that are trying to help him through whatever he is going through and he sits laughing at us all. He is sly and devious-he knows exactly how to behave when certain people come round, just like when the police came after we called and reported the 2nd incident with him attacking the school girl. He was so polite and well mannered and said 'I won't do it again and I will be good sir.' 2 hours later he was a mouthy little boy. No regrets at all. If I had not stayed with him 100%, I would swear that I didn't give birth to him! The bond between us is being slowly destroyed because he is hell bent on destroying himself and everyone around him. What would people think if I came out and said-I want this to stop, I want the daily abuse and aggression and attacks on his sister and us to end, I want to be able to come out of the bedroom and feel alive instead of wishing away his life until he is 16 and ready to leave home, I want to know that my daughter is safe from harm and that we can live in peace instead of an onslaught of daily hell all caused by a boy that doesn't want to be good. What would people say if I said-I can't carry on, I want him to leave? What mother has to ask whether letting him stay is the best option? I now know how my mother felt when I was younger. My mum had to make the decision of telling my older brother to leave home at the age of 16 because he was abusive towards his younger brother (my other brother). Do I wait until he really hurts his sister? Do I struggle on until he ends up in juevenile detention? Does anyone really know what to do in a situation like this because I certainly don't and the people that are trying to help are slowly running out of opptions for him. How can a boy of 10 be so sweet one minute and then attack you the next and feel that he has done nothing wrong? Life is nothing if but a mystery and there is a whole different world that we could be living. www.AnimalAgentz.com http://darkangel6976.stumbleupon.com