Annoyed and deflated all in one!

I wish people would listen, I mean actually listen not just hear what we say! Last week my son had a good day at school on the Monday and all was well, he even managed to go to the Arts club run by our home school support lady-she is great with him, she also runs our ADHD with us and has been a valuable resource and a tower of strength to us as parents. Mary understands how life with him affects us and even though he is a right handful she still feels that he should come to the Arts group as she knows it gives us that little break and he is happy to talk about what he has made there and comes out in a different mood, unlike when he comes out from school! Tuesday we thought would be a good day at school but when we went in, the headteacher asked me if he had had his medicine this morning-well this got right up my nose as this isn't the first time she has asked me! Here's the picture as soon as we are awake and even before we go to the bathroom, he is given his medication! That's how important and vital it is. We can't function without him having his medicine and the reason he gets it earlier than some kids is because he can't function without it-you ever tried to get a bull not to go for the red flag....know what I mean! Some parents may not be that bothered about there kids and we can clearly spot them in the playground, some kids don't even get breakfast and their parents are already on the booze before 9am. Some parents are less fortunate and really struggle with life as a parent and need support that isn't available and so school take out the worry for them and get the child to have the medication as soon as they come to school in the morning, the problem with that is everyone is already tense in the house because the kid is climbing the walls due to not having their medication so for that hour or two life in that home is frustrating, angry and uneasy! But us, we are well aware the results of a missed dose for him and I don't give my son medication so he can be settled for when he goes to school, I give him his medication so he can function and listen and be able to have his breakfast etc etc so I won't ever miss a morning dose and as far as I can remember for the past 5 years he has always had his morning dose! So when the headteacher yet again asks me and I make it plain that I ain't just another parent and that I am bothered and won't miss a dose, her question pisses me off. The reason she asked was he had had a bad day and couldn't understand why after the great day of Monday that the next day he wasn't great and instead of listening to all the things she has been told decides to politely say 'must be your fault he has had a bad day'. Pointing the finger at me is like, not something anyone should do when it comes to medicine.....she was lucky I didn't say 'hey stop trying to get me to give him his medication at school and stop putting me in the I don't give a monkeys about my son category'. So we say it, the psychologist says it and the psychiatrist says it and then the educational psychologist say it....what are we saying that she can't comprehend...... we say 'he is incapable of containing his behaviour over a period of time, he can contain it for a few hours or a day at the most and then due to him being mentally exhausted on having to try so hard at good behaviour that he explodes after'. She stands there dumbfounded as if she doesn't get it! How many times do we have to remind her that that is what he is, he can't do anything about it, his cognitive ability is so screwed up that this is his life right now! Then in the middle of the week he has another bad day and we later find out that he was given a biscuit for break----hmmm what did I say earlier about the school not giving my son biscuits and cakes for break! they moan to us yet it was a direct result of them yet again not listening to me, don't moan to me when it is your action that caused his reaction! I plan for the day when I get a call for him to be removed and I stand there and say NO, you gave him something so you can deal with it yourself. I am getting sick of repeating the words of others to professionals that need to learn themselves how to listen and they wonder why parents and schools have such a huge gap between them! For a few years now the Government has wanted to bring parents and schools back together like they used to be but there is so much animosity and the 'us and them' scenario that it's no wonder here is no trust or hope for this to happen. I make sure I try and stay ahead of what is going on in school, if my son sees someone i want to know why, when and how did it go, I want to see reports and I ask plenty of questions but I have noticed that this is annoying some people at the school, they see me as being too interested-he is my son and I have a right to know how well he is doing with his Dyslexia program and why they aren't doing it! I want to know why a lady came to see him regarding his IQ-because I set it up, I want to know how it went and I want to be as involved with my son's education as I possibly can so I can help school deal with him and implement the same strategies they have with him at home too-would be nice if we all did the same but hey they don't so he gets confused as at school he can hit someone and there is no consequences and at home he tries to raise his hand and he backs off because he knows the consequences! Today a lady walked by me and him in a supermarket and she said hello to him, I had to ask him who she was-apparently someone from school, bless him, he can't remember names or why he sees people. She never said hello and introduced herself and before I had the chance to say hold on who are you, she had gone! teachers teach our children not to talk to strangers and yet a few times people from school who are not on the photo board there say hello to him and ignore me! It's like they don't know the full story of him so assume 'ah bad parent' and snob me off with a look-this pisses me off a lot! On the photo board it shows teachers, trainee assistants, teacher's helpers, the care teacher and dinner people, the helpers at play group and even the after school club staff but many of the people that have said hello are not on that board! She could have been a different educational psychologist, a supply teacher, a speaker at the school from an outside agency but the thing with the last one is that she said his name not just a hello! So today i wonder who she is and put her face in the box of faces that either see me as not worth introducing themselves to or an opinionated person who has only heard how bad he behaves and not his entire history and that I as a parent have spent my life trying to seek advice, support, agencies to get involved, educational meetings to educate them on his condition, how I gave up my job and my career to make sure that every individual that came in contact with him would fight his corner or move aside and let someone else fight for his just as much as I have done....the easy approach for a none caring parent would to have sit back and said 'ah well, you say he has ADHD so let's just use that as an excuse instead' and then sat and done nothing....me I don't sit and do nothing. Even when he was physical, violent and gets abusive, even when all seemed lost and even when none of this makes sense I still stand strong and kick everyone else into action, I make my voice heard for the sake of his life....I could sit and just say he is doomed to a life in prison but over my dead body will that be happen unless it's my dead body that puts him there. I despise my son at times as I know he is making his life so bad and then I worry for him when I know sometimes he can't think properly, I care for him when others don't understand and expect him to be a normal lad when he clearly can't understand something so simple. But most of all I expect others to do this too and when they don't hear or think or listen I feel deflated and frustrated as I wonder how can I keep these people going when they don't hear the words of professionals, what chance do I have of getting him support if the support is from the people that don't hear so well!